Wishing you a Thanksgiving where the only argument is over who gets the last piece of pie.
Fresh today · Saturday, 25 July
New Wishes
A handful of wishes pulled from the cabinet this morning. Pick one up — copy, save it to your pinboard, or send it on.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the relatives behave, the kids run out of energy before the adults do, and the seating chart be a non-issue. (One of these is unrealistic.)
Thanksgiving plan: stretchy pants, two helpings of stuffing, and pretending to be interested in Uncle Roger's opinions on traffic.
Happy Thanksgiving. The bird is in the oven. The relatives are en route. The wine is open. The countdown to peace begins.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where the cranberry sauce actually appears, the turkey isn't dry, and Aunt Linda forgets to bring her casserole. Two out of three is a win.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the politics stay off the table, the carbs stay on it, and the gravy never run out.
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More from today
Thanksgiving prayer: please let the small children behave for one consecutive hour. Amen. Pass the rolls.
Happy Thanksgiving. The traditional dishes will appear. The traditional arguments will follow. The traditional naps will save us all.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving spent eating until you have to lie down. That's the assignment. Complete it.
Happy Thanksgiving. The plan: eat, sleep, repeat. Possibly watch football. Definitely complain about leftovers being put away wrong.
Thanksgiving wishes. May the only fire in the kitchen be the one under the gravy boat.
Happy Thanksgiving. The relatives will arrive. The leftovers will multiply. The patience will be tested. The pie will save us.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where the only meltdown is a marshmallow on the sweet potatoes.
Happy Thanksgiving. The pants are stretchy. The TV is on. The dog is hopeful. The bird is dramatic. Everyone is in their place.
Thanksgiving plan: nap, eat, nap, eat, nap, pie, nap, leftovers. Variations allowed. Naps non-negotiable.
Happy Thanksgiving. The cousin who always brings the cheap wine will arrive. The cousin who always brings the good wine will, too. Strategy is everything.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where the only thing roasted is the turkey, not the relatives.
Happy Thanksgiving. The schedule has been printed. The schedule will be ignored. The pie will be eaten. The leftover container war will commence.
Thanksgiving wisdom: the second piece of pie has fewer calories than the first because you've already given up.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the wine glass be refilled, the gravy be defended, and the host be too polite to comment on the seventh helping.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where the kids' table is closer to the dessert than the adults' table. Strategic, even if not traditional.
Happy Thanksgiving. The plan: out-eat last year's version of yourself. Set the bar high. Then lie on the couch and contemplate the bar.
Thanksgiving truth: nobody actually likes cranberry sauce. We just keep making it because we always have.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the carbs be plentiful, the awkward silences be brief, and the dishwasher run twice without complaint.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where you eat dessert first, just in case the meal ends in a family argument.