Wishing you a retirement so leisurely that your dog gets annoyed by how often you're home.
Fresh today · Thursday, 4 June
New Wishes
A handful of wishes pulled from the cabinet this morning. Pick one up — copy, save it to your pinboard, or send it on.
May you find new and creative excuses to avoid plans — you've earned the highest form of social freedom.
Without you, who will explain the printer? Who will fix the printer? Who will yell at the printer? An era ends.
Retirement: the longest, slowest victory lap ever invented. Run it in slippers; we won't tell.
May your golf cart be faster than your old commute, and may your tee times be the only times that matter.
Congratulations — you've officially out-lasted, out-worked, and out-snacked us all. Enjoy every well-earned crumb.
↑ pick one up
Browse by occasion
What are we writing today?
Cabinets sorted by occasion. Open one — pages are arranged by warmth, not algorithm.
- Anniversary
- Baby
- Belated
- Best
- Birthday
- Boy
- Boyfriend
- Christian
- Christmas
- Congratulation
- Diwali
- Easter
- Eid Mubarak
- Engagement
- Farewell
- Fathers Day
- Friendship
- Funny
- Get Well
- Girl
- Girlfriend
- Good Morning
- Good Night
- Graduation
- Hanukkah
- Heart Touching
- Holiday
- Invitation
- Job
- Love
- Miss You
- Mothers Day
- New Year
- Recovery
- Retirement
- Romantic
- Thank You
- Thanksgiving
- Wedding
- Well
- Women's Day
- Sympathy
- Valentine's Day
- Halloween
- Veterans Day
More from today
Retirement: where 'out of office' finally becomes 'out of obligations.' Welcome to the longest auto-reply of your life.
May your golf swing improve faster than our project timelines ever did without you.
Congrats on escaping — please send a postcard so we know freedom actually exists out there.
Without you, who will turn boring meetings into bearable ones? An entire genre of workplace humor retires today.
May your retirement be measured in long lunches, longer naps, and absolutely no agenda items ever again.
We'll think of you fondly every time the printer jams and there's no one good around to mock it with us.
Wishing you a retirement so leisurely your slippers develop their own loyalty program.
May your snack drawer at home rival the one you secretly maintained at work. We know about it. It was glorious.
Goodbye to early alarms; hello to mornings where 'sleeping in' is your only KPI.
Congrats! Your new job title is 'Retired and Suspiciously Tan.' We expect frequent photo evidence.
May the only spreadsheet in your future track how many hammock hours you log per week.
Without your desk chair squeaking down the hallway, the building will sound eerily, depressingly professional.
Welcome to a life where the phrase 'circle back next week' is replaced with 'I'll think about it. Maybe never.'
May your retirement be free of pointless emails, pointed feedback, and the phrase 'quick sync.'
Wishing you a calendar so empty that your phone double-checks if it's still turned on.
Retirement gift idea: a single golf ball and a thousand excuses to never come back here. Enjoy responsibly.
May your hobbies multiply, your responsibilities vanish, and your group-chat replies become legendary in their lateness.
Without you here, we have to find a new person to blame for the missing breakroom donuts. Big shoes to fill.
Congrats on becoming professionally unavailable — may every 'are you busy?' be answered with a laugh.