Sarcastic Funny New Job Wishes

Congrats on your new job - don't worry, reversal is only a matter of time!

You worked so hard to get your new job. How generous of you to share the wealth!

Welcome to your new job! You must have pulled some serious strings to land a position like this.

Congrats on getting a new job! Make sure to look out for the clowns.

Getting a new job is so much fun! Just wait until your first paycheck comes in and the real fun begins!

You'll be great at your new job - don't worry, you'll figure it out eventually!

Welcome to your new job! Enjoy the sweet sound of corporate chaos!

Congratulations on your new job! Have a great day - unless the boss notices you.

Hey, your new job is going to be amazing! You won't even have to pretend to be busy!

So excited for you to start your new job. Don't forget your daily dose of caffeine!

For your new job, may you come to love late nights, long hours and never-ending emails.

Wishing your new job offers the same satisfaction as standing in line at the DMV.

Hope your new job brings you joy and opportunity to work twice as hard for half the money.

May your new job bring you lots of grey hairs, stress and positive perspectivism.

Congrats on the new job! Just think of all the paperwork you'll be able to fill out.

Best of luck on your new job! I'm sure you'll come to look forward to the monotony that comes with it.

Cheers to the new job, may the transition be smooth and the team be pleasant - or at least bearable.

May your new job bring on long commutes, traffic jams and plenty of co-worker drama.

Be sure to enjoy all the new challenges and adventures your job throws your way - in the paperwork pile.

Nothing celebrates the new job more than the daily struggles of decision making and difficult coworkers.

May your job be filled with monotonous tasks that you can do in the background of your mind while you play on your phone. You know, so you can experience double the pleasure of working and wasting time!

May your boss be demanding, unreasonable, and never satisfied with what you do! That way you can remind yourself of how valuable you really are!

May your job have the ability to make you feel overworked and undervalued! That way you an never worry about feeling too happy with your work!

May you get up in the morning, dread the prospect of going to work, and break out in hives when thinking about having to stay another day! It'll make the weekends feel that much better!

May you finish a task in record speed, only to be told that they were looking for it to be done differently! That way you'll always receive constructive criticism!

May you receive a promotion, but still have to do all the same jobs as before with a little bit of extra responsibility! How can you resist?

May you be tasked with jobs that make you feel like you are going nowhere, and never see the efforts bear fruit! You'll be that much better for it!

May you always have to explain yourself and your decisions to people who don't understand the situation in the first place! Maybe one day they'll understand!

May you always receive the same feedback: 'good job' instead of any sort of constructive advice! You'll have more time to vote for the necessary changes!

May you be the only one who notices the tiny mistakes, and no one else will ever warm up to your complaints about them! It's great to have a hobby!

I hope you enjoy the monotony and endless paperwork of your new job!

You finally found a job that actually pays you to do nothing!

Congrats on working your way up the ladder to the top when the ladder was only one rung high!

Wishing you long days where time passes incredibly slow and nothing of value is ever accomplished!

It's time to test your patience with your new job. Best of luck with that!

The only thing more boring than your new job is the person who wishes you success in it!

Now that you've joined the rat race, let's see how quickly you can escape it!

Congratulations for making it from the top of the pile to the bottom!

May the hours pass quickly and uneventfully at your new job!

Good luck finding ways to make your new job more exciting than watching paint dry!