Halloween · 30 cards

Funny Halloween Wishes

Funny Halloween wishes — the kind that involve poorly-carved pumpkins, last-minute costumes, and dads in dog costumes.

Halloween

Wishing you a Halloween night that ends with you on the couch, in costume, watching a bad horror movie, with a sleeping child on your shoulder. The pinnacle.

Halloween

Tonight is the night I dress like I have my life together. I do not. Happy Halloween.

Halloween

Happy Halloween. May the worst thing in your house be the half-eaten lollipop you found in the couch.

Halloween

Wishing you a costume the relatives don't quite understand and a candy stash you don't quite share.

Halloween

May your Halloween be wild enough to be a story by Saturday. Not Tuesday. We are too old for Tuesday stories.

If this one isn't quite right —

Halloween

Wishing you a Halloween of weird friends, weirder costumes, and exactly the right amount of candy theft from your own bowl.

From Halloween Wishes for Friends

Halloween

Happy Halloween! Stay close to a grown-up, stay on the lit streets, and bring home more candy than you can finish in a week.

From Halloween Wishes for Kids

Halloween

May your costume be the funniest one of the night. May my costume be the second funniest. Happy Halloween.

From Halloween Wishes for Friends

Halloween

Costume coordination is a love language. Thanks for matching. Happy Halloween, partner in crime.

From Halloween Wishes for Friends

Halloween

The leaves are dry. The path is dark. The doorbell is ringing. Open it. They're only kids. (Probably.)

From Spooky Halloween Messages

Halloween

To the friends who survive me on Halloween — patient, kind, somehow still texting me back after the year I made everyone go as cereal characters. I love you. Happy Halloween.

From Halloween Wishes for Friends