Goodnight — may your dreams be cinematic, surreal, and slightly embarrassing to admit at breakfast.
Funny Good Night Wishes
Looking for funny good night wishes? Check out our collection of hilarious messages to send to your friends and family. Make their night special and bring laughter into their lives!
Sleep well — your bed has been waiting for you longer than your boss has.
May tonight's mosquito find someone else's ankles. Anyone's. Truly anyone's.
Goodnight — counting sheep is fine, but I find blocking ex's accounts more restful.
May your pillow be cold on both sides — the rare, holy miracle.
Sleep tight, don't let the doomscrolling bite. Phone goes face-down, charger across the room.
Goodnight — the day was free, but somehow you still feel like you've been billed for it.
May you fall asleep mid-thought, the way important novelists do.
Sleep well — if you wake at 3 a.m. with a regret from 2014, it's not me, it's the universe.
Goodnight — may your dream tonight star you, well-dressed and unbothered by deadlines.
May your blanket distribute itself fairly across the bed — a feat no human has yet achieved.
Sleep deeply — tomorrow's problems are subscribers, not surprises.
Goodnight — may the only thing waking you be the smell of breakfast, ideally made by someone else.
May your snoring tonight be in a key your partner can tolerate.
Sleep tight — and if you can't, at least lie down convincingly.
Goodnight — may you remember none of your dreams unless they're flattering.
May the foot you stick out from under the blanket be exactly the right temperature all night.
Sleep well — pretending to sleep is also valid; the body can't tell, the spirit can.
Goodnight — may your phone die before your willpower does.
Sleep the deep sleep of someone with no unread emails, even if it's a lie.
May the night pass faster than a Monday meeting.
Goodnight — your bed has been your most loyal companion this year. Honor it.
Sleep well — and if you dream of work, please bill them for it.
Goodnight — may you wake up looking like the photo on your driver's license that you actually liked.
May your bladder cooperate until 8 a.m. like a true ally.