May your menorah survive the cat, and your cat survive whatever your nephew thinks is funny tonight.
Fresh today · Monday, 29 June
New Wishes
A handful of wishes pulled from the cabinet this morning. Pick one up — copy, save it to your pinboard, or send it on.
Hanukkah math: eight days of doughnuts equals one January of regret. Wishing you a sweet, slow descent.
Wishing you a chag where the kids ask for chocolate gelt and not the actual cash equivalent in 2026 dollars.
May the oil last eight days — or at least until you finish frying the second batch of latkes.
Chag sameach — may your relatives arrive on time, leave on time, and behave acceptably in the interval.
Wishing you a Hanukkah where someone finally explains the rules of dreidel correctly and we can all move on.
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More from today
May your candles burn straight, your latkes burn slightly, and your patience with extended family burn just long enough.
Hanukkah blessings, including one specifically for whoever has to clean the wax off the dining room table.
Wishing you eight nights of festive joy and only one passive-aggressive comment about your career choices.
May the shamash do the heavy lifting this year, the way the eldest child usually has to.
Chag sameach — and may your kids accept that gelt is technically chocolate and stop demanding the real thing.
Wishing you a Hanukkah where the menorah doesn't tip over and the brisket doesn't dry out — pick one.
May the festival of lights also be the festival of forgetting your diet for a perfectly reasonable eight-day window.
Hanukkah is when Jewish parents pretend gelt is exciting and children pretend to believe them. Wishing you both convincing performances.
Wishing you a chag where the candle on night six doesn't fall over and torch the whole arrangement.
May you receive socks, and may you appreciate them more than you did last year. Growth, friends. Growth.
Hanukkah wishes: that the doughnut jelly stays inside the doughnut for at least the first bite.
Wishing you a festival where your in-laws bring their best dish and not their worst opinions.
May the eight nights pass without anyone re-explaining the Maccabee story to someone who didn't ask.
Chag sameach — and may the oldest cousin keep her unsolicited parenting advice until at least night three.
Wishing you a Hanukkah where the dreidel game doesn't end in tears, accusations, or quiet familial estrangement.
May your latkes be crisp, your applesauce be unanimous, and your sour cream camp suspiciously well-organized.
Hanukkah is the only holiday where you can eat fried potatoes for religious reasons. Make the most of it.
Wishing you eight nights of festive joy and zero family-group-chat arguments about who's hosting next year.
May the candles burn down faster than the conversation about real estate prices in your hometown.