New job means new snacks in a new break room. Priorities clarified.
Fresh today · Sunday, 21 June
New Wishes
A handful of wishes pulled from the cabinet this morning. Pick one up — copy, save it to your pinboard, or send it on.
May the printer fear you and the coffee respect you from day one.
Welcome to the place where your calendar fills before your desk does.
Congrats on escaping — er, transitioning. Same thing, better LinkedIn caption.
Wishing you meetings short enough to forget and lunches long enough to remember.
A new job is just unfamiliar problems with a different logo on the mug.
↑ pick one up
Browse by occasion
What are we writing today?
Cabinets sorted by occasion. Open one — pages are arranged by warmth, not algorithm.
- Anniversary
- Baby
- Belated
- Best
- Birthday
- Boy
- Boyfriend
- Christian
- Christmas
- Congratulation
- Diwali
- Easter
- Eid Mubarak
- Engagement
- Farewell
- Fathers Day
- Friendship
- Funny
- Get Well
- Girl
- Girlfriend
- Good Morning
- Good Night
- Graduation
- Hanukkah
- Heart Touching
- Holiday
- Invitation
- Job
- Love
- Miss You
- Mothers Day
- New Year
- Recovery
- Retirement
- Romantic
- Thank You
- Thanksgiving
- Wedding
- Well
- Women's Day
- Sympathy
- Valentine's Day
- Halloween
- Veterans Day
More from today
May your onboarding documents be brief and your onboarding lunches be plentiful.
Congratulations — try not to peak during the welcome muffins on Monday.
Here's to a salary bump that survives contact with your monthly subscriptions.
May your new boss confuse charm with competence for at least one quarter.
Welcome to a fresh inbox, soon to be ruined by automated training reminders.
Congrats on the role — please nod thoughtfully in meetings until you understand them.
May the office cat, if there is one, deem you acceptable by Wednesday.
A fresh start, a fresh chair height adjustment that no one else can figure out.
Wishing you the rare gift of a manager who answers Slack before lunch.
Congrats — may your first all-hands feature minimal awkward small talk and free pastries.
Welcome to the wonderful world of wondering what your job title actually means.
May your stapler stay loyal and your headphones signal do-not-approach effectively.
Congratulations on the new role — please update your auto-reply, not your personality.
Here's to colleagues who reply-all only when absolutely, tragically necessary.
May your one-on-ones feel less like reviews and more like mildly tolerated chats.
New job — same you, slightly more expensive coffee habits incoming.
Congrats on outsmarting the interview panel; try not to break the streak Monday.
Welcome aboard — the dress code is whatever you can get away with on Zoom.
May your first paycheck arrive faster than your imposter syndrome.